Crusade to Darkness [Chapter Two]

See the Writing Forum Rules thread for info on rating
Locked
User avatar
Feandril
Centaur Genius
Posts: 1099
Joined: Wed 12th Dec 2007
Location: Everywhere... Where you least expect me!

Crusade to Darkness [Chapter Two]

Post by Feandril » Sun 16th Dec 2007

I finally got around to it. Your comments, critiques and ratings please... I hope you'll like it.
Oh and, a part of it some of you may find a wee-bit nasty. I hope I didn't overdo it. If so - sorry 'bout it and tell me how to fix it(use 'spoiler'?)...


----
Pain... that was all he could feel. Horrible, horrible searing pain in the stomach. He felt as if someone hanged him with his own guts. Barely gathering strength to open eyes, he noticed that his surroundings were no longer that of the forest. Not even the ground. He was completely surrounded by some strange white mist. He was left alone to enjoy his seemingly-eternal suffering. 'Why can't I DIE already!?' He didn't dare take a look at his own wound. He was just too afraid. Several moments later, a shadow appeared in sight, and soon that shadow turned into figure that was approaching slowly. It was dressed in gray and black robes with gloomy green eyes. Not like that of any human, but completely green and glowing a bit. It was hooded but it had it's face covered because hood wasn't meant to create much shade. It obviously wanted to hide itself. From what, that he didn't know.
"Do you want to live" a high, slightly hissing voice spoke to him. He could notice a strange curvy knife in it's hand. Quite intimidating.
"Wh-" He started confused.
"Last time, worm. Do you wish to resume your state of existence?" figure asked aggressively. He was, by then, very intimidated and afraid of this creature's appearance and behavior. He almost forgot his pain, but was quickly reminded when he began to drag himself away from the figure in meaningless attempt to escape. It was like in a bad dream... very bad dream. One of those where you try to run, but your hunter is always there, right behind you. Hissing Laughter.
"Pathetic... but amusing." Figure said approaching him, planting a foot onto his back, to stop him. This increased pain so much that he couldn't keep his body straight. He had to curl up in hope to protect his intestines(guts). A cold blade barely touched his throat. It was so sharp that he started bleeding a bit that instant. There was no more running, he knew... He had to make a choice now. He wants to live doesn't he? It's what this has been about all the time. He may have followed a side, but it was to survive and so was each battle, but his resolve and faith seemed now lost. He owned nothing to no one. He didn't care so much anymore, he just wanted the pain to end, but feeling that after his death comes there will be an emptiness, he barely uttered with a shaky voice: "Y-yes... I want to live. Help... me."
He couldn't see the creatures face, but somehow he thought the creature smiled. Or at least it was pleased in a way as it's eyes glowed stronger for a moment or two.
"Good. Very good." it whispered to him. And just as he thought he was about to pass out or get healed or be helped in any way, he felt hand move around his neck. He was about to say something, but his words turned to gurgle as his throat was slit.

Noise. He heard a *clang* and a creak. He opened his eyes an... WHAT!? He's alive?? Again? And no pain... strange. He quickly turned to the place where noise came from to see 3 figures enter the room. They were, naturally, dressed in dark and gray robes. He was in a small, round room, probably a cell of a sort, judging by a very small window that was sadly sealed with wooden planks. Room was illuminated by one torch with a quite a dim light. Strangely enough it didn't give away any smoke, but his mind was sieged by more obvious problems now. One figure leaned against a wall to the opposite of the door while other two raised me from the ground. He definitely couldn't stand on his own yet, but at least the pain was gone. He tried uttering some words, but his voice seemed to have betrayed him. His throat felt completely dry and it felt a bit swollen. A moment or two later, figure addressed him with a voice different than that he heard in whatever happened earlier...
"Who do you serve?"
He tried speaking again and, strangely enough, words did come out.
"I serve no one, bu..."
"I see." The figure cut him off, nodding it's head. "Let us correct that..."
Before he could react or even attempt to resist them, two creatures dragged him through the door. They made him lean against some flat service, a wall possibly, and chained his hands and legs. He was just unable to resist them for reasons unknown to him. He felt pretty well earlier. Maybe it was magic? Or were those some sort of sedatives? He was confused by this treatment. They spared his life first, and now this... what did he do wrong now? Anyhow, this room was about twice as large as previous one, looking hardly any different except for one chair and one locker. He felt the surface he was chained pretty tightly to lean back, so now he was hanging a bit, but still he was chained and laying on this table of a sort. The other figure approached the locker, seemingly searching for something. He had a pretty unpleasant feeling about this. The talking-guy took a chair and sat down a meter or two away from him. The figure by the locker apparently found what it was looking for, and soon the unpleasant feeling was replaced by panic. A drill. A very nasty-looking drill. He wanted to shout or scream, but his lips were completely sealed. He started pouring all the prayers he knew. He did feel betrayed and abandoned, but still he was hoping for a miracle. He heard clanging behind him, and moments later, felt a pointy, sharp metal object touch his back.
"This really isn't necessary... I..." He found himself, surprisingly, speaking again.
"Oh, but it is..." The figure said almost whispering and added with almost a sad tone "Still you utter useless prayers. Still you hope and dream about something that isn't there... What more proof can you possibly need..."
Interrogator nodded his head. Bad feeling. A terrifying, searing, lava-hot pain spread through entire body and filled his mind as the object started penetrating his skin. Apparently they wanted to drill his back, about the middle of his torso. His body was arching, trying to avoid the inevitable. He was screaming like 100 men, but all was to avail. He could feel his spine move a bit to let the drill slip through and penetrate his torso further. It was too much. He passed out. Awaken by a bucket of cold water, he noticed that drill was still in him, only now, it was all the way through. The pain was horrid, but a bit less than a while ago. He probably wasn't out long, judging by quantity of blood.
"And NOW... we can start talking again." The interrogator said calmly.
"You're... a sick... sick..." he could barely speak because of pain, breathing heavily.
"I do not wish you to suffer. Please. The sooner we end this, the better my day will be. Will you cooperate now?" The figure asked with a soft voice, that wasn't too convincing.
"Why are.. you doing... this..." he barely muttered through his teeth. Fe could taste the blood in his mouth. Internal bleeding. He won't last too long.
"To help you..." The interrogator said, making a hand gesture. The door opened and closed again. Now we were alone.
"Wha..." he started very confused. What kind of game was this?
"You are a slave... you are blind and ignorant. I wish to cure that."
"A slave?" he decided the cooperate. The sooner they end this, the more chance he survives.
"Yes. A puppet if you will. A puppet of evil men."
"I don't understand..."
"The church. It has robbed you of your own will and common sense." The figure explained and, before he could respond, spoke again. "You were sent here by a certain man, to combat us, those who never did anything against you. Do you really wished me dead? I don't beleive so... Therefore, by risking your life to do his dirty work, you have become his slave. And a slave of a man who has seduced thousands with his lies and sweet-talk."
"What?" he asked confused. And how did he know this about his holiness...
"Your life is controlled by one single man. The headmaster of your churches, if that's what you can call him. Everything he does is to make himself rich. Is it not obvious? Palaces, statues, golden decorations? All the while, people have been forgotten. Cast aside when used. And he uses you every day with his lies... and sweet lies they are. But they have been revealed to you. Your eyes have been opened."
By then, his vision slowly started fading away. Everything was blury. The voice remained clear in his head, though.
"Why can't you accept it? You have faced it! Your own death. Your "God" has abandoned you. Why didn't he help you combat ultimate evil? Maybe he was too busy ordering palaces and worldly riches? Or maybe he isn't out there after all..."
"Please..."
"Come now! You knew it. You always knew it. You only obeyed because you were afraid. Because you were insecure. But now you have defeated death! Or should I say life...? What more proof of your own strength do you need? You do not need those deceptions. Let us teach you and learn about you. Let us discover your potentials... You are marked by them already, as someone who "fell". You are not among them anymore..."
"You turne... me into... one of... you??" he asked. He could feel death approaching again. This had to be third time he is dying and still he hasn't gotten used to the idea.
"Hahaha!" The interrogator laughed adding "No, not yet. You are nor here nor there. That's why I want you to accept our teachings and guidance on the path of discovering your true, inner self... I shall ask you once more. Who do you serve?"
He pondered about this for a few moments. Mostly due to inability to speak, but also being afraid of further torture or death in case he gives the wrong answer. The interrogator mentioned a lot about discovering self and help, so he couldn't decide what to say for several moments. Finally, he gathered courage and spoke.
"M-myself..." he muttered.
"What is that?" the figure leaned forward. "I didn't quite catch that, say it again."
By that point he wasn't sure if that was the right answer, but he didn't care so much anymore. He just wanted all of this to end. He just wanted the pain to stop.
"Myself! Aaaah." He shouted. Bad idea judging by the amount of pain he received as a reward. At least he passed out.
A breeze. A warm, pleasurable breeze caressing his exposed body parts, which was from what he could gather, most of his body. He was laying on some stone floor. Again, there was no pain. He was a bit frightened to open his eyes again, not wanting to experience further tortures. He had enough pain for a lifetime. Or two...
"Open your eyes, friend." He heard a familiar voice. He noticed the air here is fresher. This must have been happening outside. Obeying the command, he found himself laying on something that seemed like a small crenelated tower of unknown height. There was a man besides him. Not a creature, a man. A man dressed in pretty nice-looking gray robes with red decorations from what he could gather from faint moonlight. Pale skin and long black hair tied into a ponytail. His lips were so thin that they were barely visible. His eyes had a weird green glow as he observed the surroundings of this tower.
"Come on, you are able to stand. On your feet, boy!" the figure commanded again with a joyful tone. Out of curiosity, he obeyed. The tower was, in fact, one of the towers of the castle the crusaders were meaning to cleanse earlier. The tower was pretty thin, but about 40 meters tall. Frightening. He didn't like heights much. A few trees had some snow on them, which was weird. Last thing he knew, it was spring.
"Now for a proper introducing... My name is Luciano." The man turned to him, offering his hand. He accepted it and started.
"I am..."
"Yes, I know... hehe. But not anymore." The man cut him off smiling. "I am sorry for your treatment from before. We feel it was necessary."
There were several moments of awkward silence as they both seemed to be considering this situation.
"You have an... amazing gift. You are a wonder of the nature." Luciano said.
"How's that?" he simply inquired.
"The night shields you." A simple reply for a simple question. A bit confusing though. "When you passed out, we brought you outside, in the courtyard. We meant to revitalize you there using our magic, but it wasn't exactly necessary. You helped yourself, heh."
"What do you mean?" he inquired still not understanding fully. And why is he half naked when it had to be pretty cold outside? It was probably a winter night or some magic was at work. Quicker than he could react, Luciano grabbed his hand and with a swift move of the other, cut his arm. It was more a scratch than wound. He took a step or two back and said:
"Observe."
The wound did hurt a bit in the beginning, but a strange thing happened. Soon there was no more blood pouring out. The hole then started to narrow until all there was left was a white line which also disappeared soon. In awe, he turned to Luciano.
"That is only the beginning. I sense you can do a lot more."
"I am all yours!" he said loudly, still in awe, and then added. "You need to change your ways of demonstration, though..."
Luciano laughed a bit and said "From now on it's mostly talk and training. You are now a brother in the Brotherhood Of The Crescent Moon... I will give you a new name."
After he pondered for several moments, he said: "Emmanuel."
"Definitely better than Lazarus!" he said, and as they both laughed, descending down the tower. His training will now begin and with it, a new life... or whatever this was.
Image
Image
Image
Place My Body On A Ship And Burn It To The Sea
Let My Spirit Rise, Valkyries Carry Me
Take Me To Valhalla Where My Brothers Wait For Me
Fire Burning To The Sky My Spirit Will Never Die!

User avatar
MaeveCrowArtemis1
Council Member
Posts: 3493
Joined: Sun 19th Nov 2006
Location: Serbia

Re: Crusade to Darkness [Chapter Two]

Post by MaeveCrowArtemis1 » Sun 16th Dec 2007

If you ask me,this part is better then the first one.It's more interesting and I really loved the part with cutting :D
Image Image
Blue is the colour,football is the game
we are all together and winning is our aim
so cheer us on through the sun and rain
cause Chelsea,Chelsea is our name

User avatar
BlackOpal
Fangathering Fever patient
Posts: 8022
Joined: Sun 22nd Oct 2006
Location: Posh Isolation
Contact:

Re: Crusade to Darkness [Chapter Two]

Post by BlackOpal » Sun 23rd Dec 2007

Why is this so good?
I really don't understand.
Amazingly descriptive. Is English your first language? You live in Serbia, right?
Even if English is your first language this is amazing. You have a very eloquent style.
Thanks to darvit and /b/for my signature. :D
And thanks Kagoma, for the awesome birthday present that is the C&H sprite!
You can't take the sky from me.
1/4/10- The end of the world as you know it
And it's just the beginning...

User avatar
Feandril
Centaur Genius
Posts: 1099
Joined: Wed 12th Dec 2007
Location: Everywhere... Where you least expect me!

Re: Crusade to Darkness [Chapter Two]

Post by Feandril » Sun 23rd Dec 2007

[Pleased Statement]: Why thank you... I might post more of it. If anyone thinks it's worth it... hehe
Yeah, I can come up with more. A lot more, too... :D :D :D :D :razz:
Image
Image
Image
Place My Body On A Ship And Burn It To The Sea
Let My Spirit Rise, Valkyries Carry Me
Take Me To Valhalla Where My Brothers Wait For Me
Fire Burning To The Sky My Spirit Will Never Die!

User avatar
1hollyfan
Centaur Genius
Posts: 1601
Joined: Sun 15th Jul 2007
Location: Who wansta know?

Re: Crusade to Darkness [Chapter Two]

Post by 1hollyfan » Mon 24th Dec 2007

I loved this just as much as the first one. I really like your style. (on most things) The detail is amazing, you can feel what the characters are feeling! While it did move a bit fast, I understood it all, without it being confusing. I have trouble with that for even the best-written books. You are simply an awesome writer.
Proud Member of the Loveless Fangirls!
And of the Loving Fangirls!
I'm Normally Paranormal.
A Co-Founder of the Insane Club.
*pant* I'm also part of the Anime Lover's Club.
And... *cough* the.... Book Club

Yes, I am back! I have been super-dee-dooper busy. I just got back from vacation and I said to myself, "As soon as I get back, I am going to start posting on FG again. I miss those guys!" And I did miss you! I loved talking about AF with people who actually care! I might not be posting a lot in the next few days because there's still alot to do around our house, but I swear posts will start rushing in soon." Love you all!!!!

Locked