i didn't look back.
i feel like ever since i stopped wanting to kill myself i’ve been living on borrowed time. it’s crazy what not wanting to die does to you. i blinked and i was 21, no longer that 14 year old with the grand dreams, hopeless i’d never get out. i became an adult with dreams that turned into goals.
i don’t know when that happened, except that it took two years of medication and therapy to get here. i swear to god, that if you’re going through something rn… one day you’ll enjoy living your life full and bursting through each day. you’ll marvel at the cold of ur car AC on ur skin. you’ll sing along to your favorite song while going 5 miles above the speed limit and feeling adventurous because that’s speeding, ok.
you’re gonna plan out how to give your girlfriend her promise ring. you’re gonna move in with the love of your life, and taste cold ice cream on hot summer days in Florida sunshine and buy rainbow pillows. you’re gonna fret endlessly about “do we have enough blankets” and “oh my god what do you mean i don’t need thermal underwear” because you’re moving up north for the first time in your life. you are going to get a cat and name her after ur favorite candy because that’s just how much you love her.
my point here is that you are going to make a beautiful life for yourself. and it will be worthwhile. and you are worthy and deserving.
you’re going to be okay. we’re gonna be okay, guys. everyone who’s been here since 2010, everyone who still checks up on FG, all my old friends.
i think of you every day.
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